Drunk driver. Bad husband. Total sexist pig.

The list of offenses allegedly committed by former Assembly Minority Leader Brian Kolb added those last two charges on Tuesday, when news broke that he had tried to get out of a drunk driving arrest by claiming his wife was driving the car!

“My wife was driving! You know how women drive,” the one-time Republican powerhouse said, the Rochester City Paper (and Gothamist and the New York Post reported, quoting the tow-truck driver from court papers.

Oy. It’s like men never learn. If you make a mistake, own it and you move on. If you make a mistake and blame your wife, you’re done (oh, and single).

Until Kolb v. Kolb is filed, here are today’s headlines:

• New Daily News court reporter Noah Goldberg — just poached from the better-and-better Brooklyn Eagle — had a bizarre story about a lawsuit against the MTA for using facial recognition technology in the subway, which the MTA denies it is doing!
• The Daily News and the Post had more details on the 10-year-old boy who was run down and killed in Corona on Tuesday.
• And the News and the Post had more details about the 68-year-old woman who was run down and killed by a truck driver in Boro Park.
• The Times, in a rarity, covered both deaths
• Cops are hunting for a true jerk: A driver who attacked two traffic cops who gave him a ticket for illegal parking. (NY Post)
• Gothamist took a little more time, but added some new details and concerns about Gov. Cuomo’s plan to expand Penn Station.
• More details have emerged to show that Gov. Cuomo’s hero act on the BQE on Monday was not a one-man show. (NY Post)
• Let’s make those holiday street closures around Rockfeller Center permanent! (WSJ)
• Rob Pozarycki at amNY was first out of the box with coverage of Gov. Cuomo’s plan to temporarily bar registered sex offenders from the subway — a decision that seems to be on tenuous legal ground (can you really bar people from public space?). Dana had it, too (subscribers only).
• And we were happy to see amNY provide coverage of the proper use of public space: seesaws! (That said, Gabe Herman’s story was a bit press release-y for our taste.)