Yesterday we noted how it took a cyclist-involved collision to get the Daily News riled up over pedestrian fatalities. Regaining its senses, the paper today again turns its attention to the real victims: motorists. Specifically those who park illegally and are indiscriminately ticketed for doing so.

Bronx business owners say parking agents are harassing customers and hindering revenue, and are demanding action from electeds and calling for an investigation by Public Advocate Betsy Gotbaum. Says Margaret Arrighi, head of the Bronx Business Alliance: "They wait for you to park. They come up from behind, like a tiger waiting for its prey."

According to the News, the animalistic stalkers have even killed.

The meeting [between business owners and officials] follows what has now become city lore – the death of Leo Magnotta, 64, who suffered a heart attack in May while arguing with traffic enforcement supervisors when he was issued a ticket while double-parked and waiting for his wife outside a Subway sandwich shop at 3714 E. Tremont Ave.

In the interest of "on the other hand" journalism, even murderous thugs deserve a sentence in their defense. Here it is:

Craig Chin, a spokesman for the city Department of Transportation, said that double-parking is illegal at all times, because it is a safety issue.

But back to the crisis at hand. Included in the News exposé is a handy sidebar (above) with suggestions on how to beat a parking ticket. Note that the final tip is from Gotbaum’s office. That’s right: so serious is the problem of ticketing for illegal parking that the city’s public advocate is now issuing advice on how to escape it. (Eggheaded twits might suggest that variable-rate parking would be a fairer, more efficient solution, but now is the time for action, not ideas.)

If all else fails, we suggest invoking the method preferred by that of infamous defender of motorist privilege, State Senator Jeff Klein: "Get your hands off my car, you fucking asshole."